Sometimes refusing to fight/telling yourself no can leave you speechless, in the best way.
I’m blown away right now at how far God has brought me in and through my relationship with the girlfriend.
I understand not everyone believes there’s a God, and even some of the ones who do, don’t believe He’s as involved as I do. I get that; I won’t attack you with arguments today. I still think we could all improve from a refusal to fight now and then.
K tried calling me several times while I was showering on my day off. I had jumped in when time was convenient with no thought to her work schedule; it’s my day off after all.
I called back afterwards and was met with attitude immediately. She was back at work and couldn’t talk now.
My “self” persuasively told me something along the lines of, “oh he$$ no! You’d better let her know what’s up.”
I had a mixed drink prior, so this is all the more surprising.
I didn’t want to fight. [I credit BJJ (Jiu Jitsu) with much of this. I credit Jesus with even more.] I didn’t want my self (flesh for the religious) to demand that I do anything. I remembered she’s my person. I remembered she’s human. I remembered she may have a good reason.
This time I said, “Umm I think I should let you go because this can’t go well.”
She agreed. We said bye.
To further assert my dominance over my self I sent a sweet text afterwards.
She explained, and she apologized. But you know what’s funny? I got it. Her explanation made sense. I would’ve been irritated too.
Sometimes, my friend, you have to tell yourself no if you want to have a good relationship.
You don’t have to “feel like it” right then. You don’t have to understand it. You don’t even necessarily have to like it; but, from experience, if your self wants it, it’s probably not what’s ultimately best for you.
You can always fight later if nothing changes, but one thing I’ve learned time and again is a deep breath and an explanation later will usually make you feel like you made the best decision ever to not engage.
You may think, “I can’t do that.”
You may be right, right this second. That’s okay.
It takes time, and time is on your side.
My prayer for you is not that you would do a 180 right this second, because that rarely happens; I pray you’ll believe me when I tell you to start where you are, and do what you can with what you’ve got.
I totally get it if you aren’t in a place to tell your self no in that situation yet.
There most definitely is some area though. Find that area: religious, physical, emotional, etc.
Say no, and watch your favorite parts grow.
Much love to you my friend. I’m not an expert and not a perfect example, but I have a ton of bruises I’d love to see you skip.