No, All Men/Women Are Not The Same

“All men are the same.”

“All women are the same.”

No. They’re not. These are false statements often made by frustrated singles, and even though I’m in a happy relationship now I get it because I have been there. I’ve thought this before unfortunately. True enough, the dating pool does seem depressing at times, but the problem is not the 3.5 billion members of the opposite sex. It’s us.

All men are not the same. All women are not the same. If it seems that way it’s because we pick them. It’s time we finally start asking ourselves who the common denominator is in the scenario. It’s not the 3.5 billion members of the opposite sex; it’s the picker. We continually pick people to date based on appearance and other surface qualities while virtually ignoring deeper and more telling matters.

If your friend bought some cereal mostly because of the box and then didn’t like the taste at all you’d think that person a fool for picking up the same box again next week, or even for picking up a different cereal while still basing the decision on the box. You would wonder why (s)he couldn’t understand that the box has little to do with the nutritional quality or taste. They create the box specifically to help sell the cereal, regardless of how much effort they put into creating quality food. Why then do we consistently write people off based on their packaging? This is not limited only to physical appearance, although that probably is the biggest problem.

He doesn’t have a good enough career.
She has too many cats.
He’s too short.
I don’t like short hair on women.
He doesn’t spend enough time with his family.
She’s cute, but just doesn’t do it for me.
He just doesn’t give me butterflies.
I just see her as more of a friend.
He texts me too much.

Bible Barbie and Missionary Ken need to stay in our childhood toy chests. It’s time to put away childish things. When we were children we thought like children and reasoned like children. If we continue to pass up great people based on packaging alone we can’t blame the other sex. Attraction does play a part of course, but I fear we give it way too much credit when seeking a significant other. I understand just simply not being attracted to someone, but if we continue to put great people in the friend-zone we can’t turn around and blame everyone else.

What if that person you’ve put in the friend zone would be the next best thing to knowing God and you never even gave him or her a chance?
What if that guy who is too short for you was kind and generous, completely unlike all the others you picked but left you frustrated?
What if you never noticed her few extra pounds again after the first date if you just chose to look beyond the surface?

I’m surprised I’ve never heard someone say, “all singles are the same.”

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